Two SF Westside born and breds, mid thirties, get into my car. They are in the middle of a conversation/monolog that moves faster than bad news—I do wonder if fact if the guy in question had something more than caffeine in his system. It goes like this:
“As you know my mom is somewhat of a badass so she wastes no time and blocks him at the kitchen door and yells that is he ever shows his face again she is gonna get her gun and blow a hole in him, cousin or not, so he backed out this time, but then he shows up a month later and gets in my face, so I grab a shovel, and then paps walks in and says if I count on him bailing me out if I kill just ‘cause he is a public defendant that I am gravely mistaken, and I would be a bigger idiot than my idiot cousin and to ignore the cretin —you had to be there—since he is on of those guys who went to the army just hoping they have a chance to kill somebody, a psycho that is, so, as my dad pointed out to him just because he is blood that doesn’t make him family, and he is not welcome at the any family event due to that fucked up affair with my little cousin—well, she is technically my aunt, except she is 14—as you know, and the stunt he pulled on grandpa over inheritance after setting the garage on fire with the hope of getting the insurance money and than trying to frame his brother for the same, do you believe the dude. And how is your mom doing, did you tell her I said hi? "
“As you know my mom is somewhat of a badass so she wastes no time and blocks him at the kitchen door and yells that is he ever shows his face again she is gonna get her gun and blow a hole in him, cousin or not, so he backed out this time, but then he shows up a month later and gets in my face, so I grab a shovel, and then paps walks in and says if I count on him bailing me out if I kill just ‘cause he is a public defendant that I am gravely mistaken, and I would be a bigger idiot than my idiot cousin and to ignore the cretin —you had to be there—since he is on of those guys who went to the army just hoping they have a chance to kill somebody, a psycho that is, so, as my dad pointed out to him just because he is blood that doesn’t make him family, and he is not welcome at the any family event due to that fucked up affair with my little cousin—well, she is technically my aunt, except she is 14—as you know, and the stunt he pulled on grandpa over inheritance after setting the garage on fire with the hope of getting the insurance money and than trying to frame his brother for the same, do you believe the dude. And how is your mom doing, did you tell her I said hi? "